*MadScntst: E1 by JosephHilton.tumblr.com. Please don't remove credit*/>

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I have screwed up a lot lately in my life. I’m not making the same decisions I would have a few months ago. Things would’ve been different… I have grown, in good ways and bad. If certain people knew what I have done they would be skeptical about who they are looking at now. I have strayed from my path with God a lot lately. I still believe Him and love Him, but I know what I have done wouldn’t show love for Him, but for the flesh. I do compare myself to other people a lot, but most of my friends around me have done similar things. My self esteem and confidence is on a fine line each day. I have felt like I’m in a dream state with no conscience… which is different because it used to be really strong. Sometimes I wonder if anyone is watching me, and praying for me. Wishing they could help me, but don’t. I guess I just want to be cared for again. And I know what the answers are, but I don’t know. I want to change my life again, but sometimes I don’t know where to start.